More about Alzheimer's

Several of you have left me wonderful voice mail and e-mail messages about my upcoming visit home to Virginia.  Although I didn't mention it in my previous post, the aunt living with Mom has Alzheimer's disease.   

Some of you have expressed concern for me-- I want to let you know (all of my friends out there) that I've visited this aunt several times during the progression of the disease.  Last time I visited, when Mom asked her if she knew who I was, my aunt nodded her head.  I do know that she may or may not know who I am-- it depends on the day or how far the disease is at this point.  My aunt may think I am someone else.  At this stage in the disease, she sometimes speaks and sometimes she doesn't speak. 

Last time I visited, I washed her face, washed her hands, carefully cleaned and filed down her nails, then gave her a hand and arm massage.  Whether or not my aunt can call me by name, I can still give her a loving touch, and reassure her that she is among people who love her and care for her.  I can feed her and I can prepare food that she likes and will eat.  There may be other caregiving tasks I can help with too -- we'll see how things go.  I'm willing to help.  My aunt is not mobile on her own, and has not been for some time-- she wasn't last time I visited. 

Mom needs a break so she doesn't have to call someone to stay at home while she runs errands or goes to the library.  I'm going to encourage her to meet some friends for dinner -- these friends go out to dinner at a local Italian place each Thursday night.   Hospice offers massage services to caregivers; I've encouraged Mom to sign up for that while I'm home.  I'm also going to encourage her to go to church while I'm there -- I know she misses going, and it will nourish her soul and spirit to go.

Alzheimer's disease has been called the long goodbye.  You watch your loved one deteriorate, their memories fade, their motor functions shut down.  I'm reminded that much like with stroke victims, you never know how much one still hears and understands.   So, still talk to your loved one, even if they cannot respond in a way that you recognize.

And give their caregivers a much needed break.

Comments

[Shari McKinney]

Hi Laura,
I'll be praying for you and your family. Unfortunately, I now have some first-hand experience, as my mom had a stroke in December and it has caused significant problems with her memory (she is being treated with an Alzheimer's medication). Sometimes it's very difficult and trying, and requires constantly reminding yourself that she is not in her "right mind", but, as you said, you can still love them and minister to them in ways that are important to them. Be encouraged.

[Kyra]

I know your presence is appreciated. I spent the last two years caring for my mother in law with Alzheimer's in my home. I had no help, and would have welcomed it with open arms. Two of my husband's siblings walked away from their own mother. I have a hard time getting my brain around that...